Grunkle Stan Wants A Vagina
by GrunkleStansVagina
Summary: What happens when Grunkle Stan desires having a vagina after so long? Find out as he goes through the mysterious paths of magical creatures in the enchanted woods in this action packed, thrilled story!


Stan wanted a vagina. He always secretly did. But he never told the kids of course. Instead, he told his trusty handyman, Soos. What a fellow. One misty night, the sky held a veil of darkness over the sleepy town. Stan knew it was the time. After all these years. He tiptoed quietly out the creaky house, and into the enchanted woods. In those woods, he heard that there were magical creatures. Magical creatures that called themselves, Vaginal Elves. Stan was desperate. He ran through those woods as if he were holding in pee too long and trying to find a bathroom. Which was actually the case. He heard the Vaginal Elves had quite nice facilities. In fact, the toilets were how the Vaginal Elves done the 'switch-a-roo' to your bottom area. He squinted his eyes as a faint glowing shone a few steps ahead. He put his hand where his thick salt and pepper eyebrows were, attempting to block out the extreme brightness. He heard the faint thrumming of a harp playing, as well as many other relaxing instruments. Stan felt at home. He immediately walked over to the light, almost falling over from the illumination. Finally, his eyes adjusted to the luster, and a grin stretched across his old, wrinkly face. He ducked his head down to see small cherubic-faced creatures flopping around silly. They had vagina shaped hats and big, boring eyes.

"Hello, sir!" One chirped.

Stan didn't know what to do, so he waved.

"Let's get started with your makeover!" She said in a bubbly voice, squealing with excitement.

Stan nodded, still speechless as he followed the creature. Stan was brought to an all white room, the smell of Lysol hanging in the air. Stan was in a trance, the world shifting around him. Before he knew it, he was passed out on a toilet. Well, it looked a lot like a toilet. Little did he know, he was finally getting a vagina. He woke up feeling like he could do anything, overjoyed and crazed. It might have been the side effects, or just how happy he was with his new vagina. He walked rather clumsily home, for the vagina was hard to work with his big muscular thighs. Soos was working on the snack machine in the corner of the gift shop. Stan couldn't help but feel butterflies swarm through his stomach.

"Hey, Soos." Stan smiled in an almost menacing way. Soos looked up,

"Hello, Mr. Pines." Soos gave a slight wave.

"I have a vagina now, Soos." Stan pulled down his pants and showed the wonder. Soos gaped and his cheeks flushed. The two then walked into a damp, dark room where no one would know. But it was not to be. The kids walked into the room, finding Soos and Stan in bed. Stan's heart raced, and he shot up to the ground. He brought out his gun that he kept in his underwear at all times, and shot the kids in the head. Their limp bodies fell to the ground, a pool of vermillion surrounding them. Soos stared in horror at the scene, tears welling up in his eyes.

"How could you!" Soos cried out.

Stan shook his head, tearing up quite a bit as well. He then shot Soos in the head, whipping his head around frantically and running out in panic. Stan threw his gun behind him as his feet thudded on the spiraling dirt road that led to the enchanted woods. "VAGINAL ELVES!" He screeched.

No response. He broke down and cried, burying his face into his sweaty hands. He heard the faint sound of sleigh bells ringing, and the occasional heavy laughter. Could it be? High up in the skies, flew the one and only, Vagina Claus. Stan gasped as the sleigh of flying vaginas lowered down to where he was.

"Va-vagina Claus?" He muttered.

"That's right, Stanford. You've been a /very/ bad boy." Vagina Claus replied hastily.

Stan was now on his knees, begging.

"Please, Vagina Claus, please, I didn't mean to!" He sniffled.

Vagina Claus was clearly not impressed. With a snap of his fingers, Stan had his vagina removed.


End file.
